My last semester of college starts in two weeks and my parents are telling me to chill out on the job search.  This is backwards, right?

I feel sad when my dad reminds me that there are seasons for everything.  He tells me I need to enjoy school while I can. “There will be plenty of time for work, getting experience, and internships, but only this time for school,” he says.

Of course I want to enjoy school and not worry my future.  Like freshman year.  But those days are gone.  My mind has expanded to see the possibility of the future and it cannot un-know these things. After this summer, I’ve had a small taste of real world experience.  I see what the future can offer me if I work hard enough.  I tell this to my dad and he asks, “What’s the hurry?” The hurry is I want to be happy and there’s a lot of work to be done if that is the case.

Though when I look back to last semester, I know my dad is right. He’s trying to prevent what happened which included me spending much of my time stressed out and worried for my future.  I planned and worked as hard as I could.  Pleasant and helpful Heidi wasn’t around too often.  I think I “lost myself” a bit.  Maybe I was “growing” like people keep telling me I was.  But I can’t help feeling that I wasn’t growing all the parts of me that matter.  Like my creative energy, my compassion, and helpfulness.  This semester I want to water the parts of me that I neglected so that I can grow in those areas too.

I am tempted to say that once I have more control or a clearer idea of the future, I can be a better person.  But I can’t use not being in control of my future as an excuse.  Because the fact is, I’ve never been in control of my future.  None of us are.  Not now, not ever.

The New Year has started and you may have made a resolution.  Let’s do this together.  Are you ready to try it again? Get your watering can and join me in nurturing the parts of yourself that you may have neglected last year.  Let’s do this!