A millennial on the move

The next logical step in my oh-I’m-an-adult-now? journey seems to be moving into an apartment of my own. My commute will be shorter, which is a huge plus for me, and I will be living with one of my oldest and best friends (because I certainly cannot afford to live on my own yet). We are looking seriously for a place right now, in fact. But I can’t quite shake the feeling of…what would you call it…utter fear? Excruciating anxiety? It’s not quite that bad, but it might be pretty close. This is a big step and it’s something I’ve never done before because, really, does living in a dorm room at college or in a rented bedroom at grad school really count as living on your own? They were both learning experiences, definitely, and they were the steps I needed to take to understand what kind of person I am and what kind of person I can and cannot live with.

There are so many articles and blogs out there about millennials in their 20s and 30s living with their parents and I can see why (though many of them also state that this trend is no different than it’s ever been). It’s EXPENSIVE to pay bills, rent, buy food, and take care of yourself. And I’m not even out there doing it just yet! I also have student loan payments (the paying of which I sometimes compare to giving up my firstborn or cutting off my left arm), that keep me second guessing what I can really afford. I keep asking myself “How do people live on their own?”

Part of all this anxiety comes from the fact that this is my first big financial decision (if you don’t count taking loans out to pay for college) and I’m doing it on my own (well, with a friend, but you know what I mean). It’s a scary prospect to become an adult and do “grown up” things, especially since I have great parents who have helped me out the past few years when I was in graduate school and then looking for a job. I feel like a child still, sometimes, because I really don’t know what to expect in the big wide world out there. Who does when they first start out, though? In between bouts of freaking out, I do believe that I’m going to be okay because I know what kind of person I am. I’m invested in my future and I care about the decisions I make–both of which are helpful when deciding to move out (and for life in general, really).

What about you lovely readers? Do you have any stories about when you first moved out in the big wide world?

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Also, check out these similar articles:
1. Everyone’s freaking out about Millennials living at home. They shouldn’t.
2. Trend that is Not A Trend: Millennials Living At Home After Graduation
3. 2 charts prove millennials really are living with their parents in record numbers – Vox

Simplify.

Simplifying has  become a really useful tool in this confusing time in my life.  I am in a transition.  I am graduated from college, but do not have a job yet.  All of the activities that I did at school no longer define me or keep me busy.  All of the friends I made now live far away.  I don’t  have much money.  A lot of things seem hard right now.

So I’ve been trying to simplify by asking questions of myself.  What is really important to me?  What motivates me?  Are there things I should be doing more/less of?  How am I feeling at this very moment?

What’s been happening when I simplify is that I become self-aware.  I learn more about myself and therefore want I want to do and which direction to go.  It can be something small, for example, how am I feeling at this moment when I am camping and we are all laughing around the fire?  Amazing.  So, I try to be grateful and enjoy the moment and plan to have moments that make me feel like this when I come home.

Paying attention to things like this can be helpful in all different areas of your life.  For example, if you notice your mood is never in a good place at work, you know you need to do something about it.  It could be as simple as exercising before work, or as complex as transitioning careers.

Confusing situations can usually be cleared up by asking yourself  simple questions.  Try it! This practice can lead to enlightening self-discoveries that could lead you to some amazing places.

 

Stray thoughts on life, kindness, and loss

We lost an incredible person yesterday: Robin Williams was an amazing actor, comedian, and person and was beloved by millions of people. But for him, the sadness was too much. I’m not going to write a contemplation on Williams’ life (though I could expound on all the movies he made that I grew up watching and how amazing he was); in fact, I’m not 100% sure what I’m writing about in this post. I guess it can tie in to what I wrote about two weeks ago: talk about your problems, joys, issues, sadness, happiness. And how we probably don’t really know the person who sits next to us every day in work or in class. Sometimes I remind myself to just smile, even when I’m walking down the street and it’s hot and I’m stressed, because maybe that smile will keep someone hoping. I don’t want to make it seem as though my very presence passing by can change a person’s outlook, but maybe a small smile or the act of holding the door for someone will give a person hope that there is genuine kindness in the world.

With all the violence and illness in the world today, and the fact that we hear about it constantly on the news and social media, I think it can be difficult to step back and take a look at our own lives. Heidi posted last week about remembering what’s important to you, and I think that is so important right now for everybody: millennials, retirees, young students. Maybe I can’t stop the violence happening in an entire nation, but I can go home at night and hug my dogs and spend time with my family. This makes my circle of family and friends more peaceful and happy for myself and others, and that’s what’s important to me.

I don’t exactly have a coherent thread going through this message, but I wanted to say something after hearing about the loss of such a wonderful man. It made me think about big and little things and how I deal with them in my own life. Be kind to each other; maybe that’s what I’m trying to say today.

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What helps you?

It makes me feel better to remember that my favorite color is purple. It reminds me that I liked things before people told me I should.  And somehow, that makes me feel better.

It helps me when I plan something that involves people.  It helps me to talk to people.  To share ideas and interact.  To gather friends and watch the magic happen.  The laughs, the smiles, and even the serious talks.

It helps me to remember the rules that you think you have to follow and remember that you don’t have to follow them. Like wearing a bra. That’s not a law. Or getting a job in an office building. Or keeping your phone on all the time.

Sometimes you go through a little rough patch.  It could be a career transition where you forget what you are good at doing or a just a bad day.  Sometimes you have to ask yourself: what helps?  It helps me to remember my favorite color is purple.  What helps you?